Masjid Al-Harem; the Holy Mosque, Makkah.

Umrah.

To wake up to this, for 5 mornings in a row - subhanAllah. By far the greatest blessing Allah [swt] has given me.

When my heart was hardened, and my courses constrained; I made my hope a stairway, to Your forgiveness. My sin burdened me heavily, but when I measured it by Your forgiveness, Lord, Your forgiveness was the greater.

-Imam Shafi’i (in his final sickness.)

Yesterday.

For so long, i've been wanting to put my feelings down on paper. But if i do, it's gonna make it a bit more real. Although it's been over 4 months now, i'm still not ready yet. To me, just yesterday you were sat on our sofa; i just made you tea and we joked about 'chocolate pancakes'. And just yesterday, Allah decided it was time to take you back to heaven.

It feels like every day, all im doing is just waiting to die too. Just so i can see you again. I miss you Mama. Look after my precious Nana and look over my beloved Nani - she's trying to be so strong but every day i know her heart keeps breaking over and over again. Because just yesterday you were with us and just yesterday you left us.

May Allah [swt] reunite us all in Jannatul Firdaus; Ameen.

To witness the sun rising from the skies in Makkah will be a dream come true. InshaAllah.

A thousand times i've failed; & still Your Mercy remains.

Alhamdulillah.

”When she is a daughter, she opens a door of Jannah for her father.

When she is a wife, she completes half of the Deen of her husband.

When she is a mother, Jannah lies under her feet.”

‘If everyone knew the true status of a Muslim women in Islam, even the men would want to be women.’

-Shaykh Akram Nadawi

"When you have to make a choice in life, flip a coin. Not because it decides something for you, but because when that coin is in the air, you know what your heart is really hoping for.."

A Moment In Time.

Friday 9th September 2011.

G r a d u a t i o n.

"It's not about the destination, its the journey that counts." - One of the most profound quotes I've ever heard with such magnitude of truth in it. Its funny how three years of education all comes down to a handshake and a piece of paper with a number or two on it. If I could relive that day, I would; for so many reasons. Right now I'm struggling to put into words how special this Friday was to me.

This journey has been by far one of the most significant for me. Through these years, I have had some of the greatest experiences life could ever take me through. I've realised that you truly get out of life what you put into it in the first place.. Hard work, dedication and hundreds of sleepless nights sum up a journey of a lifetime, full of tough times and smiles too. Up until second year, I had no idea that bibliographies were meant to be in alphabetical order. I didn't know I could write actual essays of a substantial standard in a matter of days. Through these hardships, countless blessings shone. For all that and more; Alhamdulillah.

Praise be to Allah; who guided and gave me the strength to cope with the adversaries of the past three years. Praise be to Allah; who helped me get this far. Praise be to Allah; who blessed me with amazing family and friends to share the moments with.

E m p t y E m o t i o n s .

I'm not ready to write properly again but one day soon, i'll be ready to let some words speak what the remains of my heart is feeling.

Innal lillahi wa inna ilaihi wa rajioon. Absolutely.

May your soul be at peace; may Allah enlighten your grave with Noor and may the doors of Jannatul Firdaus be wide open for you to enter. Hand in hand with my Nana and the rest of us. We'll be reunited once again in Jannah; inshaAllah.

Look after the big piece of my heart that died with you.