Friday, 28 October 2011

E m p t y E m o t i o n s .

I'm not ready to write properly again but one day soon, i'll be ready to let some words speak what the remains of my heart is feeling.

Innal lillahi wa inna ilaihi wa rajioon. Absolutely.
May your soul be at peace; may Allah enlighten your grave with Noor and may the doors of Jannatul Firdaus be wide open for you to enter. Hand in hand with my Nana and the rest of us. We'll be reunited once again in Jannah; inshaAllah.

Look after the big piece of my heart that died with you.

Wednesday, 7 September 2011

Death.

I keep hearing about so many deaths these days. Innal lillahi wa inna ilaihi wa rajioon; indeed.




Sometimes life can be so cruel.



There's one thing i've learnt in the last year - Allah gives and He takes. His plans are far greater than our plans. Always.





A baby saw a glimpse of this dunya before he closed his eyes again. He's in Jannah now; back with Allah where he belongs. :')

Saturday, 6 August 2011

Number 60 mama.

Innal lillahi wa inna ilahi wa rajioon.



Just 3 days ago, Allah [swt] called a man to his final resting place. He was my nani's next door neighbour. Ever since i can remember, this uncle never hesistated to call out to me or stop me in the street, just to ask if i am well in health and imaan and how my family are. He always had a smile on his face too.

He died just 3 days into Ramadan, subhanAllah what a blessing; such an amazing way of Allah [swt] showering him with His Mercy.

May Allah [swt] grant his wife, children and grandchildren peace and ease of mind, knowing that he is with Allah in Jannah. Ameen.

Tuesday, 2 August 2011

Arabian Nights.



_ After hardship, there is ease. SubhanAllah.

He [swt] always provides for His slaves.

The same sun which rose in Londontown, sets in Mecca tonight. Glory be to Allah; Lord of the Worlds.


Monday, 20 June 2011

Words.

Everything happens for a reason. A reason that might be so unknown to us. I'm okay with helping others and making them smile again, but i kinda suck at taking my own advice. I've always tried to stand strong and front it out, but it's been a while now that i've had my guard down. I've learnt it's okay to be weak at times and it's okay to cry too.

I saw Mama after such a long time. & to see him so weak and so fragile, barely being able to eat or speak, it broke a piece of my heart. Chemotherapy and radiotherapy is meant to be keeping him better, but it's slowly eating away at him. And it hurts to sit back and not be able to do anything. :(

Ya Rabb, grant Mama strength and keep him well. Ameen.

Results are coming out soon and i pray that Allah [swt] makes it a success for us all. We all tried our best and i hope results reflect our struggle and our passion to succeed too. Allahumma Ameen.

Saturday, 14 May 2011

The Earth Is A Place Of Prostration.



This made me smile.


Jabir bin Abdullah narrates that the Messenger of Allah
(May Allah’s peace be upon him and his progeny) said:


"The earth has been made a place of prostration for


me, and a place to perform Tayammum. Thus, my


followers can pray wherever (in any lawful place)


they like, when the time of prayer is due."


[Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 1.429]

Wednesday, 11 May 2011

Struggle. And a leap for change.

They always said that life would be a constant struggle, but no one ever told me that it would be this hard. Nobody ever said that all the smiles are equated with tears and that sometimes, some hurdles will be so high, that it'll seem almost impossible to jump over them. People told me that university will be the best three years of my life, but I'd do anything to relive my college years over and over again. People also said 3rd year isn't as tough as the first two years in uni, but for me, 3rd year is double the hardship and triple the stress of the first two years. Exam period; and cue depression mode and lovespot season.

But soon inshaAllah, this year is about to end.

---
As this moment nears; and as another journey begins to end, I feel afraid to step out into the world. The real world. I live between hope and fear. As contradictory as it may appear to be, it seems logical to me: fear that I won't be able to achieve all that I want, but hope that I'll overcome these hardships and come out much stronger.
Someone pointed out to me that I secure myself within a 'box'. A box where I've selectively placed all my hopes, dreams, fears and people. And perhaps that person was right; because I admit that I'm not a fan of change and transition. But to be able to cross this narrow road and get to the other side, I need to accept that change is inevitable and maybe even for the better. So today, I smile and raise my head above it all. Here's to change.
One final exam is fast approaching and the concept of revision scares me. But I know, that if you fail to prepare, you prepare to fail. And not long ago, I was the one claiming that failure isn't in my dictionary, it's not even an option.
I'm gonna give this one last shot. I'm gonna load this gun and then fire these bullets straight at my target. I'm gonna try my best.

"Tie your camel, and leave the rest to Allah (swt)."

The Secret of Life.



Snoopy told me to keep looking up; that's the secret of life. Then I realised all the good and all the bad moments in life are meaningful if you have true friends to share them with. And life is nothing without a few struggles, but with faith, we'll always get by.

Friday, 28 January 2011

Dad.


Dad.
It’s been a few months now that i look at my Dad with such happiness and sadness at the same time. It was during a trip to Southend in Summer 2010, that i learnt old age was creeping up with Dad. We were snapping away taking pictures at the pier when i asked Dad to stand by the side so i could take a picture of him, when the wind blew his hair and i realised Dad was slowly getting bald. And it hit me; my Dad’s getting old. I remember standing so still for a few seconds; the concept of Dad being old was something so strange to me; but today, as he hits 50, i feel so proud to be his daughter.

When i look back at the years that passed us by, at my childhood, i think i can truly say that for me, my Dad has been my hero. He’s always been the one who’s given me more than I could ever ask for; and he’s always been the one who made things happen. I’m way too blessed to have such a person in my life, and more importantly, as my Dad.

To think of Dad being old, is like thinking of the impossible. For me, Dad’s always been the man to look up to; who’s always protected me and kept me safe, but to think that one day i’ll be the one protecting Dad and keeping him safe scares me. I’m not scared of not looking after him, but of not doing it the right way; the best way; the way he kept me protected all those years.

Today, and for the years to come Dad – my heart, my love and my dua’s are always yours.

Happy 50th Birthday, Daddy.

xo